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Near Theory: Metaphysical Quantum Tesseracts
Salutations, comrades. Soon we shall delve into the Abyss of Unknown Knowledge, reach our short arms across the Chasm of Curiosity, and conclude at the great tall Mountain of Mystery. I'm User:Near_is_god, and this is a Near TheoryTM. Have you ever wondered how all the different pantheons can coexist at the same time? How Samirah al-Abbas can worship Allah and still be a Valkyrie? What would happen if there was a war between the Jediists and Lord Xenu? (A/N I CALL DIBS) These questions have always bothered me deeply. But then I realized the truth. The deep, dark truth. Now, you might find this theory to be be a bit shocking, I did too when I first stumbled across this veritas, I was shocked so deeply I fainted. Then again, the shock may of come from me jamming my fingers into an electrical outlet for the lulz, but that's not important. If you have any of the following conditions please do not read any further because the pure, raw power of the fact will make your brain explode! * Andromeda Strain * Cooties * Dragon Pox * The Flare * Smallpox * Lycanthropy * Munchausen syndrome * Corprus Blight * Knahaten Flu If you don't have any of the above conditions, then it should be safe for you to read this, but you will be forever scarred. Now that all of that is cleared out of the way, let me state the mind blowing truth that will leave you up all night just trying to get over it. Mysterious areas called Metaphysical Quantum Tesseracts are somehow keeping the pantheons from contradicting each other. IKR!?!?!?!!? I'll give you a week to calm down from the trauma. *ONE WEEK LATERZ* Better? Good. Time to delve deeper into this theory. Let's start with what exactly the Metaphysical Quantum Tesseracts (MQTs) are. Here's a professional sketch of one. Our entire universe, and all the other ones, are divided into these MQTs. These MQTs constantly make sure pantheons don't contradict each other. The way it works is that whenever a member of a certain pantheon is inside a MQT that particular MQT takes on the laws of that pantheon, but other MQT's without a member of that pantheon inside them will not have those pantheon's laws in them unless a member of that pantheon moves in. Every centisecond (more on that later) the MQT "ticks" and checks for any pantheons. If there are multiple pantheons, it uses a complex, unknown equation to prevent them their laws from conflicting and instead allowing them to smoothly flow together. If their is only one pantheon, it takes the laws of only that pantheon. If there are no pantheons inside the MQT the laws default to the natural, scientific laws. Here's an example, look at the chart to the right for reference: There is a room with nine MQTs in it. Percy Jackson stands in the one labelled "PJ," Carter Kane stands in the one labelled "CK," Magnus Chase in "MC," and Samirah "SA." "n" stands for null, as in there are no pantheons in that MQT so it defaults to natural law. Percy decides to walk over to Carter Kane and have a chat. He leaves A1, which then ticks and reverts to null, and enters B1, which ticks and converts to the Greek Pantheon. Carter Kane then comes over to B1, causing C1 to revert to default, and when B1 ticks it realizes that two different pantheons are in the same MQT and so it uses the Unknown equation to make sure that the laws and rules of the two pantheons smoothly work together instead of clashing. Samirah is in normal, non-Valkyrie mode so she is currently a member of the Islamic pantheon. She walks over too Magnus Chase, causing A3 and B3 to both become null after ticking. C3 then blends Islam and Nordic paganism together. Samirah, after talking to Magnus for a bit, decides to go Valkyrie, for whatever reason. She then becomes a member of the Nordic pagan pantheon, and after C3 ticks, only Nordic paganism is left in that MQT. Everyone in the room decides to meet in MQT B2. They go there and everything blends nicely. But then an atheist walks into the room and goes into B2. To combat pantheons that are incompatible with each other or when there are too many different pantheons in one MQT, the MQT can rapidly switch between pantheons one at a time, or two at time, or more at a time every tick. Most people don't notice these ticks because they happen so fast, but some are slightly sensitive to ticks. EXAMPLE OVER Now you might be wondering, if pantheon members can only affect the MQTs that they're in, then how does Zeus send lightning bolts halfway across the continent? Simple. Everything in existence has invisible, long hairs attached to them that can be manipulated. A person could make their hairs reach out and grab a cup from several MQTs away, because their hairs are technically a part of themselves, so the MQTs the hairs enter join the pantheon. The existence of these hairs is a Universal Law, and cannot be affected by pantheon's laws, however the ways in which the hairs are manipulated and who can do it can be affected by pantheon laws. (Also, the existence and rules of MQTs would also be a Universal Law.) Now let's take a look at the basic measurements of the MQT: A MQT has 16 metres of length, 16 metres of width, 256 metres of height, and 1 tick of time. A tick is 5 centiseconds, and one centisecond is 1/100th of a second. 1 tick = 0.05 seconds. When moving through a MQT the amount of time it takes to move through one actually affects how many you move through. The formulas for this equation is as follows: VARIABLES: Stay = A single amount of time spent inside one MQT Coordinate. Period = A single move from MQT Coord. A to MQT Coord. Z and all the MQT Coords. between A and Z. T = The time in seconds it takes to go 16 metres (Or 256 if going up/down). Q = Qeg = The amount of swaps during a stay in a MQT. 20 = The amount of ticks (5 centiseconds) in a second. S = Total amount of stays in a period P = Total amount of qegs in a period M = Amount of different MQT coordinates in the period. X = Amount of P divided by the amount of different MQT coordinates in the period. FORMULAS: T x 20 = Q Q x S = P P / M = X This theory is still in the works. It is however, 9001% true and should be accepted as fact. This has been Near Theory, and we'll see you next time for Near Theory: MQT Part II. ~~~~ Category:Near is god Category:Near Theory